Thoughts, tips, and tricks on dating & relationships
It’s that time of year again: when the air gets crisp, the days get shorter, and suddenly everyone seems to be pairing off like it’s a survival strategy. Welcome to cuffing season.
If you’ve ever found yourself more open to a situationship once the weather turns cold, you’re not imagining things. There’s science behind the seasonal urge to “cuff up.”
“Cuffing” comes from the idea of “handcuffing” yourself to someone during the colder months — a short-term relationship meant to get you through the holidays and winter.
Researchers have found that feelings of loneliness and the desire for connection spike during fall and winter. A 2011 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships linked shorter days and reduced sunlight to lower serotonin levels, which can make us crave warmth, comfort, and closeness.
Basically, your body might be saying: “It’s dark at 5 p.m. and I need someone to binge Netflix with.”
Let’s be real: wanting connection isn’t the problem. We’re wired for it.
The issue comes when we start settling for temporary comfort instead of pursuing aligned connection.
If you find yourself slipping into “maybe I’ll just date them for now,” it’s worth pausing to ask:
Am I drawn to this person, or to the idea of not being alone?
Is this connection adding peace or just distraction?
Would I still be interested in this person in July?
Cuffing can teach us about our patterns: the pull toward comfort, the fear of solitude, the desire to belong. There’s no shame in any of that. But awareness is what keeps you in control.
Remind yourself what you actually want from love. If your long-term goal is a healthy, emotionally connected relationship, don’t trade it for a cozy placeholder.
We often over-rely on romantic connection to soothe loneliness. Strengthen your social network — friends, family, or even new hobbies — to spread your emotional investment more evenly.
If you do date during cuffing season (and you absolutely can!), approach it with curiosity, not desperation. Ask better questions early on, and be honest about your intentions.
Winter is naturally a time of slowing down. Use it to tune inward. Journal, work with a coach, or simply ask yourself what kind of partnership you’re actually ready for.
Cuffing season doesn’t have to be a trap, it can be a mirror.
It shows us where we crave connection most, what fears we’re soothing, and how we define “enough.”
And when you navigate it consciously, you can walk out of winter not just with someone, but with a deeper sense of who you are in love.
If cuffing season is stirring things up — loneliness, confusion, or just the urge to settle — I can help.
Through private dating coaching, we’ll dig into your patterns, clarify what you want, and help you build relationships that align with your values, not your fears.