In honor of World Caring Day, I wanted to share this video about a quote I love from Rumi, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Because really, the things preventing most of us from finding love are inside of us and we will not find love until we learn to leave our baggage at the door. Self-care starts with removing your internal barriers to love and joy.

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT: Today, I want to introduce you to a quote from Rumi that I think is both important and on point. The quote is, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

We all develop behaviors and coping mechanisms based on our experiences in childhood. Unfortunately, some of these things are counter-intuitive to us having healthy interpersonal relationships in adulthood. Maybe you run away when things get too serious. Maybe you frantically cling to people if you feel them pulling away. Maybe you don’t take initiative out of fear of failure or rejection. These are just a few of the kinds of behaviors that stand in the way of us finding love and particularly of us finding love with the right people.

This is why self-improvement is so important and why it unfortunately can be a long journey. This is part of why I created the Break the Pattern Bootcamp - because my journey took years of therapy, tons of self-help books, research, classes, etc. and I want to help other people shorten their journeys. I think this quote exemplifies what the bootcamp is all about: because we're about finding patterns in your behaviors and your dating history that aren’t serving you and breaking them. Sometimes you just need outside eyes to help you find the barriers you might not realize are there. These internal barriers not only hurt your chances at finding and sustaining love in general but they can also push you toward people who are wrong for you.

I’ll talk a bit more about attachment science in future videos and we go into it in-depth in the bootcamp, but people with an insecure attachment style are often drawn to people who are wrong for them. That's because it is familiar and it reinforces the insecure narrative. So if you think you’re ready to start the journey of breaking down your own barriers, reach out to me and we can talk about whether or not the Break the Pattern Bootcamp might be a right fit for you.

COVER PHOTO CREDIT: Michael Fenton